If I need to know if her heart is whole… that she could give it away





Doest it help to see yourself in them?


after this post, i no longer share this blog

He Truley Has To Love ... LOVE ....Before He Can Truley Love Me



Dose He ? or Does He Not ?

yesterday was my birthday and well theres no difference btween yestreday and 2 day
im leaving on the 16th of january and im not getting that exciting rush i was expecting

im 19 and my birthday wish was to become 6 again



On broken wings I'm falling
And it won't be long
The skin on me is burning
By the fires of the sun
On skinned kneesI'm bleeding
And it won't be longI've got to find that meaning
I'll search for so long
Cry ourselves to sleep
We will sleep alone forever

When I offered you survival,You said it's hard enough to live ( THE KILLERS )

no shit let me think cuz it is........ and as humans we do give up and feel worthless and want to kill our selves and NO IM NOT GOING TO COMMIT SUICIDE AND NO MY BLOG ISNT ( I WANT TO DIE BLOG ) BUT I ONLY WRITE IN IT WHEN IM EXTRMLLY HAPPY OR VICE VERSA so yea i was saying life suxs espcially when uve wanted something so bad for so long but BOOOOM its happening and ................um i dont want it to happen i want to be 6 again EVERYTHING IS CHANGING .........I WENT AND THEY GAVE ME A STUPID EXCUSE ...i miss u ....im broke ...she sappose come in a couple of days i dont want to see her .......STOP SCREAMING .... im not a pink girl im more of a palet of colors i was once upon a time a very bright and spirited kid and tha was sucked out of me and now im just ...ME and come to think of it i dont think htat i would befriend myself if i werent me but when u get to know me im not that bad i wanna have a baby but i dont want all the strings attached that come with it ...and im not talking about the dippers more like the man that behind the baby making ... will it change me ... will i be the same... i dunno ... i hope not .. i promised .. oo bakoon gadaha ....PRIVACY ..damn it respect my damn privacy yes and my laptop is something i consider private FAHAMTY ......WTF IS WRONG WITH UR DAMN HEAD IM BUSY SO DONT STARE AT ME I DONT LIKE IT WHEN IM DOING SOMETHING AND UR STARING u stupid retard im busy if i werent in a public place i would of beat the hell out of u ......fara7 shut up i dont wear a 3abaya in the states so leve me alone .... i hate the way they r taught things relating to extremists ......im starting to like the name 9ager ....in my head it sounds fine but i dont know if i actually call someone 9ager how would it sound......KIDS r so amusing and its so fun to watch them talk to each other and communicate .....baba i love u i swear i do and i love the fact the we spent a good four hours in the car to day see i told u etha masakna 5a6 layn 5ubar we would of been there by now but nooooooooo u dident listen to be instead we went around all of riyadh yes we spent 4 hours roming around riyadh me and baba fee 3iz el thuher and it was HOT .....aaaaaaaaah yara i hate the fact tha i wont be here when u grow up when u go through those critical years of becoming who u r bas no fear mama is getting old so she will have more time on her hands ...and yes dearest sis uve grown and so has 3azeez and yes in such a cruel society that mean 3azeez starts to think that u dont i7trim him if u dont ring him a glass of water 3azeez if u werent HOT i would of turned u into a gay guy ;) .......aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah where the yemani guy ive been waiting for my whole life MOROJ IF U READ THIS THEN U STILL OWE ME ONE OF UR COUSINS yes u promised me him in 6th grade and its been 8 years and u still havent FEDEXed HIM ........i dont like chocolate ........i would prefer a bag of chips so next time u wanna get me somehting get me chips and a7med im not jayzaniyah cuz i like tasaly OK ....
and i conclued this post like every other post with a song ( or shall i say part of a song )

I feel it inside, down in my soul
And I just can't hide these things that I know
Someone must have loved you
Not the way that I do...
You're missing what I'm trying to say
Ain't nothing getting in my way
So tell me that's fantastic
And promise me, you'll always sigh
I find it so romantic
When you look into my beautiful eyes
And lose control
Who let you go?
~>@.#,%^&*()
Help me through the hopeless
my oh my
Tragic eyes
I can't even recognize myself behind So if the answer is no
Can I change your mind
~>@.#,$%^&*()
I believe in you and me
I'm coming to find you
If it takes me all night
Wrong until you make it right
~>!.@#$%^&*()
If I gave you the truth, would it keep you alive?
Though I'm closer to wrongI'm no further from right
And now I'm convinced on the inside that something's wrong with me
~>.!,@#$%^&*()
Is it any wonder that I'm tired?
Is it any wonder that I feel uptight?
Is it any wonder I don't know what's right?
Oh, these days, after all the misery you made
Is it any wonder that I feel afraid?
Is it any wonder that I feel betrayed?
~>!.@#$,%^&*()
You wait,
wanting this world
To let you in
And you stand there
A frozen light
In dark and empty streets
You smile hiding behind
A God-given face
But I know you're so much more
Everything they ignore
Is all that I need to see
You're the only one I ever believed in
The answer that could never be found
The moment you decided to let love in
Now I'm banging on the door of an angel
The end of fear is where we begin
The moment we decided to let love in


OK THIS IS BY FAR THE LONGEST POST IVE EVER WRITTER ( WELL I WROTE PART OF IT )

I WAFFELS ME ;D

AS HE TOOK ME IN HIS ARMS I SCREAMED IM NOT INSANE IM JUST LOOKING FOR SOMEONE TO UNDERSTAND MY PAIN ................................. AND HE DID




Easy Silence ( DIXIE CHICKS )



When the calls and conversations
Accidents and accusations
Messages and misperceptions
Paralyze my mind
Busses, cars, and airplanes leaving
Burning fumes of gasoline
And everyone is running
And I come to find a refuge in the
Easy silence that you make for me
It's okay when there's nothing more to say to me
And the peaceful quiet you create for me
And the way you keep the world at bay for me


And anger plays on every station
Answers only make more questions
I need something to believe in
Breathe in sanctuary in the
Easy silence that you make for me

Children lose their youth too soon
Watching war made us immune
And I've got all the world to lose
But I just want to hold on to the
Easy silence that you make for me


PS .............WAFFELS ( WITH A HINT OF ME )

it took me about 3 weeks to doodel all of this down ( during economics class )
we had just started the year and i was SO CONFUSED N E WAYS SO some of u guys might not think of this as art but to me this is as real as art gets lines and curves that come out from the depths of feelings each curve and line on that paper represents a tear and smile that i felt during thoes 3 weeks

and ill leave u with a song im starting to fall in love with more and more

lips of an angel (BY: Hinder )

Honey why are you calling me so late
It's kinda hard to talk right now
Honey why are you crying is everything okay
I gotta whisper cause I can't be too loud
Well, my girls in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on
It's really good to hear your voice saying my name
It sounds so sweet Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak
And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel
It's funny that you're calling me tonight
And yes I've dreamt of you too
And does he know you're talking to me
Will it start a fight
No I don't think she has a clue
Well my girls in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved
on It's really good to hear your voice saying my name
It sounds so sweet Coming from the lips of an angel

I've still got your face
Painted on my heart
Drawn upon my soul
Etched upon my memory, baby
And I've got your kiss
Still burning on my lips
The touch of your fingertips
This love so deep inside of me, baby
I've tried everything that I can
To get my heart to forget you
But it just can't seem to
I guess it's just no use
In every part of me
Is still a part of you

( GONE IN 60 SECONDS )